– Secret Place Insights –
Dear One, a few weeks ago, while I was having lunch with a friend the words ‘even me’ popped out of my mouth. They pierced my heart, and knocked hard on my brain, while my tongue carried on as if I had not said them. While I prepared to explain the misleading words, our conversation moved along to another topic and then to others. Before I managed to explain, lunch ended and we had parted. Maybe there was a chance that my friend did not notice the words ‘even me,’ but I doubted it. It seemed to me that the atmosphere between us had changed, but perhaps I was just afraid that it had. I went home to listen to the words ‘even me’ clang around in my head. I was sure that I had disappointed my friend. I so wanted to be someone that she could trust and rely upon. But how could she now after I had left her with such an ugly impression of myself?
Should I call my friend and apologize for not having immediately explained my misspeak? For I did not mean to imply that I think of myself as high and mighty. What I meant was that ‘such an unkind attitude still, STILL manifests itself in me, even though I pray about it and work hard to keep from having such an attitude. Therefore, those who do not know God, His Word, or His forgiveness, and struggle the same way, should receive an abundance of sympathy and support.
The luncheon experience provided another painful, but needed lesson. For I had heard those same ‘even me’ words from the mouths of people I had once held in high esteem. Those little words were so powerful that, in my mind, they knocked them right off their pedestals to the cold, hard ground or did they land on my heart? “God forgive me.” Now I know what I should to do. I should send my friend a copy of this essay, and follow it up with a telephone call.
I have learned that I must from now on give anyone who uses the words ‘even me’ or ‘even I,’ a great deal of wiggle room – and assume that he or she has misspoken. I really doubt that I will ever say the words again, but ‘even I’ might.
“He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches
the humble His way.” Psalm 25:9 ESV
Blessings,
Susanne
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